“We’re running low on gas”, quipped Bex as if starring in a low budget horror movie.
A bead of sweat ran down my wrinkled brow. Paul continued the theme happily occupying the back seat oblivious to the evaporating fuel. Bats flapped, owls hooted and we bounced across the Kent countryside aboard the ‘Hairdresser’ (aka my Suzuki Vitara). We were travelling in this boneshaker because Mrs G had taken the family wagon to a baby-shower leaving my newlywed Northern guests and me in a jalopy that only usually sees sunny days at the beach. Being Broadstairs biggest clown (with car) I ’d forgotten where the pub was but luckily my glamorous assistant Bex pulled me from the lion’s mouth with the aid of her magnificent iPhone, shepherding us in with minutes to spare. It’s not my first visit to The Fitzwalter Arms so I knew roughly what to expect. A lovely little pub with a homely dining room on the side. A short menu full of local produce, plus the added thrill of an open fire that drained the damp and chill from the squally August evening. The atmosphere is quite relaxed and the informal yet knowledgeable service put us totally at ease. Bex chose courgette salad with chilli, garlic and a courgette flower fritter (£5.50), Paul tried the smoked mackerel and horseradish on rye bread with apples and beetroot (£7.50) and I went for the red mullet soup with saffron aioli (£6.50). Everybody was happy with his or her choice. I absolutely adored my soup, Bex’s fritter filled the plate and Paul even sung the praises of the Devil’s work (beetroot). The mains were equally as impressive. Love’s not-so-young dream adored their roast free-range chicken leg, chanterelles and thyme (£13.50) and I, under advice, opted for the confit pork belly, crackling and apple sauce (£14.50). What good advice too, as I am now one of the chosen few that have gnawed on the world’s best crackling. Hallelujah! It must also have been around this time that the food Gods decided to pop into the kitchen and tinker with some chocolate and stuff. Now it may have taken them somewhat longer than you’d expect, what with them being deities and all, but when it did eventually arrive my hot chocolate pudding, coffee ice cream and Earl Grey sauce (£6.00) almost moved my mountain. A fitting end to a heavenly meal. We happily paid the bill, bundled into the roofless rattletrap and set off into the foreboding night. The sky was lit with stars, the air chilled with howls and Paul frozen from lack of heater in the back. All the time the far away silhouette of Richborough power station guided us home like a derelict lighthouse. I knew that once alongside it the desperately needed petrol station was only metres away. The little jeep jerked its way along Sandwich road and was running on fumes by the time we eventually passed the monument to more prosperous times. Sadly, the petrol stations were done for the evening, as were we. We coasted, powerless, to a standstill:
“We’ve run completely low on gas”, I informed Bex as I reached into the back for the petrol can. I walked off into the darkness not knowing what lay ahead…
I’ve always said that you should treat every meal as your last and as I stand here now, carving my review into a tree, I’m rather glad that I chose The Fitzwalter Arms for what may have been mine.
The Street, Goodnestone, Kent, CT3 1PJ, 01304 840303.